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Friday, November 18, 2005

Well more of the same... and I have have hardly begun, because this site intimidates me... for some reason I am still hung up on performance anxiety-which goes right along with the fact that as yet...I am unable to break through this , but maybe if I just keep slogging through I will overcome and become one with the millions who are already here ,there and everywhere.
We, the great unwashed are not wearing out our welcome- I hope!... by not holding up our end of the not performing as well as all the Ivy drenched commentators. We are obviously here enmass, but what is it worth? ... if we do not produce an edifying product. Pardon
me- I just had to break away for a visit with my step- son Dustin, who just arrived home from his job at Costco ..."product placement"... I'll expect the check in the mail. I am learning and I will master this task eventually and be a reknowned contributor to this medium in the not too distant future. It is my destiny. It has a lot to do with my relearning English grammar and punctuation and getting the typing skills up to par. My brain is already racing at a thousand bibs an hour. That sir's and mam's was my small sense of humor poking through. If anything... I am a good sort and hold out a general longing to become a part of what I have always longed to be a part of... and that is to be a commentator and writer on the human condition. I love people and their foibles, because I have always been a foibler myself. I am and will always be a product of my parents and my upbringing... and everything that came after... has been an individual effort of never give up, even when the chips are down. On a task or a job ,or a relationship or a responsibility or a family member or friend or a bad day... that just keeps getting worse. Much to be proud of- I have achieved no small measure of tiny insignificant miracles that I take no credit for,but I witnessed them nonetheless. Life has both been good and bad... and all of the spokes and and all of the spaces between... have contined to this very day... to make it all worthwhile and well worth the time. I can only hope that in the end I will have added more value to the world than I have taken out. Nothing lasts forever not even blogs. I have lost my bookmarks so many times - I could cry,...but I have soldiered on.
Tonight, I caught the end of a special about John Lennon and the creep who killed him. In the end- I took away... not that he was gone from his family and his many fans and friends, but how much value in love and song and beingness he had brought and believed for the world that is still here. We hold these truths to be self evident and as such I will by your leave bid adieu and goodnight. Hubert Rainfield,esq.

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