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Friday, November 18, 2005

Well more of the same... and I have have hardly begun, because this site intimidates me... for some reason I am still hung up on performance anxiety-which goes right along with the fact that as yet...I am unable to break through this , but maybe if I just keep slogging through I will overcome and become one with the millions who are already here ,there and everywhere.
We, the great unwashed are not wearing out our welcome- I hope!... by not holding up our end of the not performing as well as all the Ivy drenched commentators. We are obviously here enmass, but what is it worth? ... if we do not produce an edifying product. Pardon
me- I just had to break away for a visit with my step- son Dustin, who just arrived home from his job at Costco ..."product placement"... I'll expect the check in the mail. I am learning and I will master this task eventually and be a reknowned contributor to this medium in the not too distant future. It is my destiny. It has a lot to do with my relearning English grammar and punctuation and getting the typing skills up to par. My brain is already racing at a thousand bibs an hour. That sir's and mam's was my small sense of humor poking through. If anything... I am a good sort and hold out a general longing to become a part of what I have always longed to be a part of... and that is to be a commentator and writer on the human condition. I love people and their foibles, because I have always been a foibler myself. I am and will always be a product of my parents and my upbringing... and everything that came after... has been an individual effort of never give up, even when the chips are down. On a task or a job ,or a relationship or a responsibility or a family member or friend or a bad day... that just keeps getting worse. Much to be proud of- I have achieved no small measure of tiny insignificant miracles that I take no credit for,but I witnessed them nonetheless. Life has both been good and bad... and all of the spokes and and all of the spaces between... have contined to this very day... to make it all worthwhile and well worth the time. I can only hope that in the end I will have added more value to the world than I have taken out. Nothing lasts forever not even blogs. I have lost my bookmarks so many times - I could cry,...but I have soldiered on.
Tonight, I caught the end of a special about John Lennon and the creep who killed him. In the end- I took away... not that he was gone from his family and his many fans and friends, but how much value in love and song and beingness he had brought and believed for the world that is still here. We hold these truths to be self evident and as such I will by your leave bid adieu and goodnight. Hubert Rainfield,esq.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Yes, I am back at the blogger after getting all intimidated,but now I think I can be over that as I have just come through a wierd couple of weeks... all about work and associates there and all the struggles of life ...ifs and what's? of the children and the wife and the country and the political atmospherics,and war and rumours of wars and a general dislike for our neighbors and what not ,because guess what?... I don't really care ...even a little bit. I am happy with everything and my life is just perfect and hey Dad- See!... How great I am doing - Soon, I will share with Dad- and hope that He might join me and do a little of his famous pontificating. Here on the blogger. Maybe he will get his own spot. I sure admire the exemplary and wonderful lives and life my parents have led ... before and after their marriage to each other and to their life hence ... up to and including us kids ... To infinity and beyond. I am learning on this adventure that it is not about making others happy ,but about getting your own house in order . So... when the time comes -to further the Dream- your resources and skills are commensurate to the task at hand. And so even though this is not what I planned for tonight it is what I will consider a well considered and thoughtful response to my inner dialogue that is saying that this is a big waste.H.Rainfield ,because

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Okay this is a test. My first post and I will admit I am humbled. I keep getting the wrong thing to happen . .. but that is something I am used to, but not in something I haven't tried before. So this is going to happen today and I am very happy about that. At my age? ... Is that something I should say? I am not old , but I remember a future when I thought the world was headed for a good end and we all had the best interests of our fellow 'persons' in good stead. There is some raw good human-ure there. Oh! you know - when I was young and dumb and didn't know it yet. I thought in all of my wisdom that there was a plan , and that I actually had a big part to play. Love me or leave me- "it"... whatever it was-was in the works and I would be doing something important and profound just in time to save my butt from being a complete waste a consumer of the limited resources in a world that we are constantly told... is closer to the end than we know. Then there would be a complete turnaround and a miracle cure for everything. I have followed every breath of new wind and bombast my whole life. I would say that defeating Hitler And Communism-large case were great in there time. After that world leaders said to themselves... Let's cobble together a new world that answers to one master. There is a world wide web of lies and deceit and control and money and now we are at war all over the globe in ways that are spiraling out of control. Pandemics,WMD's , slavery, and a general poverty of hope and of spirit, and for many a total loss of the ability to survive in dignity. So what is today to me. It is another beginning and another end where I realize I have more than most and I need to do more about being in this world in ways that will bring honor to my time on earth and help the world to be a more honored place by each of us who regards their presence here as a gift from God - a life is not to be squandered. To discover , to see, to reap what you sow. To learn to play well with others and when you get older -to never forget how that is done. Humbly yours, Hubert Rainfield